Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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