Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
