It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
