We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
