According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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