i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
