The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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