It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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