Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
