the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
