I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize