You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
