Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
