Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
