Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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