real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
