Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
