it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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