I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
