I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
