Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
