In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
