ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
