On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
