Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
