He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
