She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
