I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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