What a fucking waste of an outfit
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
