u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
