You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
