she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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