Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
