Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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