They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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