I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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