im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
