i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize