You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
