The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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