I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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