Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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