So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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