I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
