oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We have so much sex to catch up on
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
