i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
