I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
