Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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