yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
