Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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