I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
