Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
