i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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