just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize