4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
