Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
