well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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