My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
