i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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