Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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