So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
