i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
