Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
