how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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